Names and genders. What a thing. Names are nothing new-- but somehow they come into play, again, because they factor into a lot of the issues that come up when it comes to gender. or lack thereof.
Next semester, I'm taking my introductory education courses. That means feild experience. That means the clothes thing and the name thing are going to come up, again. Those are not new issues, neither of them is. But now gender is going to factor in.
I want to teach. More than anything, I want to teach. But this just keeps getting more complicated by the year. I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. All I know is that I need to. I absolutely need to. But I don't know how.
I don't want to be Miss [last-name]. That's not my name. That's not my title. That's not ME. but how do I give myself the kind of authority I need, especially considering how tiny and meek I am, as just Diane? Some teachers can get away with that, but can I? I don't honestly know. And if I try it and it doesn't work? Then what do I do? What can I use, instead? I'm not Miss.
People don't understand why I talk about all of these things so much. I don't, either, sometimes-- I just obsess, I guess. That's all. I obsess over a lot of things. This is the thing right now. But people are getting sick of me, maybe? People don't want to hear about it. That's understandable. But it's hard for me to keep my mouth shut. Who else is going to bring it up? How else am I going to figure it out, myself?
...I talked to Linda, today. She said maybe I should consider actuall going ahead and legally changing my name. I'm starting to think maybe I'd like that. Maybe then, at least, the name thing would be put to rest, because all my documents would list me as Diane. My dad would throw a tantrum, but... he throws plenty of those already. Maybe... maybe?
But that still leaves the gender thing. What kind of mess have I gotten myself into?
This is incoherent, but I'm tired of typing.
- Location:My Room
- Mood:
confused - Music:The Fray
First off, I want to switch out of Social Problems with stupid-science-dude and take Intro to Sociology with a better teacher, instead. There are two that look promising (one monday evening, the other wednesday evening)-- I asked Mom to ask her coworkers tonight if they knew eitehr of the professors. I'll probably take the monday one, though, as long as the professor sounds good (because mondays are a good day to be busy on... and because the GSA meets wednesday evenings). I'd rather have Intro to Soc. from a halfway decent teacher than Social Problems taught physics-style. >.>
THEN, while I'm at it... Guess what i found out? There's a class called "Traditions in World Music" (music for the listener, multicultural style) that fullfills the same credit requirement as Art Appreciation! That means I don't have to sit through a boring art history class (and injure my artist-ego while I'm at it). The only catch? I can't take that until NEXT fall. So instead, I rearranged my careful scheduling so that I take that next fall, and I take American History this semester. Works nicely, right? AND, the American History class I want to take fits nicely into my schedule, plus it has a pretty promising sounding teacher. (She's one of the heads of the Women's Studies department. I think she might be able to give a pretty cool perspective to history.)
Neither of those classes had better fill up before I switch to them, tomorrow. As soon as mom gets home in the morning, I'm checking with her on her teacher-findings and then signing myself into History and Sociology (and dropping art appreciation and social problems).
I feel very stressed out but in a very hopeful way, right now. (Let's just see if I can get to sleep without having a heart attack. This has been a very high stress week, so far.)
- Location:My Room
- Mood:
stressed - Music:Quiet
So... I'm feeling a great deal less... blob-ish. Having something to do makes aaalll the difference! (Although the art block isn't 100% gone, yet-- getting better, but still not completely gone.) Classes started for me, yesterday, and out of my 6 classes, I've been to 4. (I have two weekend classes that I obviously don't get to experience until... the weekend. fancy that.) Some seem better than otehrs, but none of them are terrible, and my psychology class seems downright AMAZING, so this is panning out to be a pretty alright semester.
First off, Psych. I'm taking Honors Intro to Psych, this semester-- It's a three-day-a-week class, and the professor helped write the textbook. That's gotta be a good sign right there. And what more? He not only was the first professor to get the syllabus up online, he also detailed everything about the class right off the bat, both online and in person the first day of the class. Seriously-- He told us project descriptions, reading assignments, due dates, everything. Right. Off. the Bat..In clear, organized, writing. Plus he posted the lecture note/reading highlights for every single chapter up on the website. Dude, this guy is BRILLIANT. He's a brilliant psychologist and a brilliant teacher. He's teaching intro to psych (which is normally a really bland class about the history of famous psychologists and their theories) from an application-based standpoint. He's teaching us how to USE psychology, not how to memorize stupid word-for-word theories. I am so excited about this class, OMIGOSH. Reminds me to take honors classes more often.
My Social Problems class, unfortunately, is not so exciting. Which is disappointing, because I was really expecting that to be my favorite class this semester, but as it turns out, the professor is the biggest dissapointment of the century. So much so, in fact, that about halfway through the class, I started to contemplate switching to a different section of the class... until he mentioned he's the only professor who teaches Social Problems. Ajkfkjsfkjjh! So why is this guy so epic fail, you might be wondering? WELL.
...he should be a physics professor. The guy is so scientific it's not even funny. It's like he's so busy looking at sociology as a science that he forgets he's studying freaking HUMAN BEINGS with lives and emotions.
The class is based on tests. 250 points are based on exams (half over lectures and half over reading material), and a whopping 10 points are based on a minimal, sad excuse for a pass-or-fail project for which we can either participate in a debate panel, or write a reaction paper over a movie. Compare this to my last sociology class, where the class was essentially project after project after project, based on hands-on experiences with diversity and social issues, as well as multiple books (Dead Man Walking and Do They Hear You When You Cry) about real, current social issues. That was a darned good class. I experienced diversity in that class, i understood social issues in a very personal way because of that class. This class? I bet I'll forget all these stupid definitions and statistics in no time flat. It's about as useful to me as a chemistry class.
Oh hey, and guess what else? Our textbook has 19 chapters. He'll be covering 14 of those in class. Out of the 5 he left out, guess what 2 of them are? Sexual Orientation and Disabilities. Guess what subject he's spending TWO WEEKS covering? Drugs and Alcohol. I do not need two weeks of drugs and alcohol studies, dude. I know that's an important issue, but there are other important issues worth covering, too, many of which you didn't even assign for out of class reading!
Oh, and did I mention he is thus far the only professor who has shown any skepticism towards my request to be called Diane? he laughed at me and told me "the school knows you as kelley, you know." Yeah, I KNOW the school knows me as kelley. That's my legal name. I'm required to write it on paperwork and such? Yeah. I go by Diane. I find it rather disrespectful for someone I just met to call me by my legal name when I clearly state upon meeting them that I go by something else. I have nothing against being asked why I go by Diane, but I do mind people questioning the validity of my request, regardless of how bizzare it might be. (I might also note that most of my professors readily accept that the name on the roster is not my preferred name. My psych professor, my wonderful, brilliant psych professor, even informed me that I could cross off Kelley on the attendance sheet and write Diane instead.)
But enough of that, onto my other classes.
English and math have thus far been, well... classes. The teachers are very nice but overall unremarkable.
My English professor is the sweetest lady, though she doesn't seem to be the most organized teacher ever. It's going to be a braindead easy class, though, so that shouldn't be an issue. The whole class? Is basically a runthrough of the evolution of Epic poetry. Uhm. EPIC fail? XD Epic poetry is not my favorite thing in the world. It's got to be some of the most boring literature in the universe-- it's a bunch of "My civilization is the greatest ever!" nonsense with no character development whatsoever. BUT it's not the end of the world. The reading assignments are laughably short, and we have a very thorough set of study questions to guide us. This class is going to be a no-brainer, despite my lack of enthusiasm regarding epics.
My math class... is all real-world application stuff! Which includes basic statistics and personal finances (ie. the only math I will ever need as an English teacher). Pretty cool, right? It's a math class, still, which means it's not likely to be terribly exciting, buuuut the professor is a super-enthusiastic semi-retired guy who used to teach high school math. It'll probably be the only math class I'll ever take that teaches me something I'll use outside of math class, which is pretty cool. |D
Friday evening I'll have Art Appreciation, and Saturday morning I'll have Biology. I'll uh... probably comment on those once I've experienced them?
So far, though, Psych is going to be the best thing ever, Soc is a massive dissappointment, and English and Math are, well, English and Math.
- Location:My Room
- Mood:
optimistic - Music:Oh sweet silence
I haven't been in a very fantastic mindspace, lately, so I haven't been posting much of anything... anywhere.
But yesterday we went grocery shopping. I got some stuff for cooking! Not fancy cooking or anything; I'm not sophisticated enough for that, yet-- just some pacages of stuff with instuctions on how to bake or fry it. 83 I got au gratin potatoes (which I made last night), cornbread (which I made this morning), fajitas, skillet breakfast stuff, and oatmeal cookies. I also got some more cole slaw stuff, because I luffs me some cole slaw.
I am the FIRST person in my family to use the oven at this house! |D (Why yes, we have lived here for almost two months, and I just used it for the first time last night. That's how often anyone cooks inmy family.)
Mom says sometime soon she'll take me to a farmer's market so I can get more planty-foods~ |D
Hopefully this shall help do something about my boredom?
- Location:My Room/The Kitchen
- Mood:
giddy - Music:Michael W. Smith
School needs to start, because I'm losing my mind. Or I need to get a job. I can't function without a schedule. I'm going insane.
I've chewed up two writing utensils, already, and it's taking every ounce of resistance I've got and then some to keep from chewing up my hand, too.
My brother offered to take me to a pet store to get a chew toy. I almost want to take him up on that offer-- if that bad?
Bored bored bored going insane losing my mind chew chew chew bored bored need school need schedule summer summer summe stupid bored chew chew.
That is all.
- Location:Not in my mind
- Mood:
bored - Music:Too bored, can't decide
A-camping I shall go! I'll return... sometime on saturday, though my dad didn't tell me the exact time on that, either.
I'm bringing The Sight and Firebringer, along with a large stack of Warriors books. That should last me, I think. if not, I'll have to wonder how in the world I became such a fast reader over the last year. 7 books (2 of which are very long) ought to last me 5 days. Uhm... hopefully. Except now that I have a grasp on the Warriors' plot, I may start munching through those as fast as i munched through ga'Hoole books. Hmm. Maybe I should bring a few extra books for backup.
I'm going to enjoy my break from the interwebs and life in general. |D Aside from books, the only entertainment I'm bringing is my mp3 player and Gameboy, along with some paper and pens (for writing and sketching-- no coloring supplies, because I don't draw much while camping). Oh, and my camera, of course. Bugs. I should get pictures of mosquitoes. Ahuuur.
I'm determined to have a good time, whether my dad and drunk-uncle cooperate or not. |D
- Location:My room, but not for long!
- Mood: grateful
- Music:Mogwai
There's a disease going around on Neopound. It's called Ebolah. Yes, with an h.
And I appear to have caught it, because I'm now applying for a krawk.
Another one.
So hey everybody, say hi to Ebolah!
She's a grumpy old pygmy who lives in a swamp and keeps pet mosquitoes.
I need to draw her when she was younger. And write the rest of her story. And make her page. Without a web design program.
La de da~ Yes, I am completely insane.
*prances off, rattling off more bug and disease puns*- Location:My Cavern of Ideas (ie. my room)
- Mood:
creative - Music:Clint Mansell
I feel very accomplished.
For nearly two years, now, I have been meaning to design my porcupine inventor character, Miguel, and guess what I did last night?
...designed Miguel.
And THEN, after being asked by countless people for... the last two years or more, this morning I finally got myself tpogether and maaaade...
A MARKER TUTORIAL! 8D
That pretty much sums up my life right now. |3
(Everything else is pretty much just... a whole lot of nothing. But at least I'm being artistically productive!)
- Location:My Room
- Mood:
accomplished - Music:Owl City
Lack of updates can be attributed to the fact that I've been crazy busy doing absolutely nothing of interest. I'm getting caught up on art I owe, though. Which is something, at least. I need to stop overbooking myself.
I also decided to write Rivie and Torren's story on a whim for the Neopound writing contest. I'm completely STUCK on the last chapter (mini-chapter, really-- it's a short story), though, and the deadline is in two days. Eeek.
Froggy has decided to enter a billion art contests on DA, each on the day before the deadline. So the last half a week has consisted of him staying up all hours of the night asking me questions and complaining about how his contest entries are coming. I'm reaching the end of my patience-- why doesn't he draw in the morning instead of the middle of the night when he's grumpy and tired and I'm grumpy and tired and everyone's grumpy and tired? Better yet-- why can't he draw without asking for my help every three seconds? Just because his art doesn't look identical to mine doesn't mean it's awful. ;o;
I haven't been sleeping right, lately. That pretty much sums up my life, at the moment.
- Location:My Room
- Mood:
apathetic - Music:Owl City
"There's no such thing as crossdressing if you're a girl. If you're a lesbian and dress as a guy, you're just dressing as a dyke, not 'crossdressing'. This androgenous look of yours seems an awful lot like... you in junior high. Also, I know you like the shock factor, but you should be careful about what you do in public. I've seen lots of bad stuff. You could get beat up for being openly lesbian at college, you know. (etc. etc. etc.)"
Right, mom. Thank you. I'm glad you think I've reverted back to my stupid, insecure junior high self. I'm glad you think I don't know how to protect myself. I'm glad you think I'm trying to look "like a dyke." I'm glad you trust my judgement.
...also, was it really necessary to tell me I shouldn't shave my head? Did I ever mention wanting to shave my head? How did you ever get the impression that I might want to shave my head?
And surely I'm going to get beaten up at my new college, which is considerably more open-minded than the Catholic college I was at last year where no one ever so much as sneered at me, much less beat me up, for being openly if not flamboyantly gay.
This is my MOM. The one who's usually completely reasonable and on my side on virtually everything. I completely fail to comprehend any of this.
I'm thinking now would be a bad time to point out that i've concluded I like guy-deodorant more than girl-deodorant and would like some of my own so I can stop mooching my brother's?
- Location:My Room
- Mood:
frustrated - Music:Pink
I dunno how many of you are familiar with my muses, but for those of you who aren't: I select a handful of characters and assign them each a pen color, and they help me take notes in my classes. It's a bit like roleplaying with myself at school. x3 Anyhow, they make it easier for me to focus in class.
Anyhow, I switched majors, so I decided to switch around my muses a bit. I think I kept the same group of muses aside from switching Thrice out for Maho, but I switched around a few pen colors and what classes they're in charge of always have a dominant muse for each class, who's in characge of explaining things to the rest so they know what's going on). Here's the new line-up~
Ash- Literature
Lirpa- Writing and Linguistics
Maho- Communication (and Art Appreciation)
Serendipity- Education
Wade- Math and Science (and Econ)
Raoul- Social Studies
I had to flounder a bit to find classes for Ash and Maho to lead, because Ash likes music and Maho likes theater. I finally ended up just stealing some of Lirpa's (disproportionate collection of) English classes so Maho and Ash had something. Because I really do want them as muses-- Ash because she's, well, Ash, and maho because she can cause complete chaos (plus you can't have Ash and Lirpa without Maho, it's just not right). So, that's who shall be assisting me with my school work for the next 3 years! |D
- Location:My Room
- Mood: cheerful
- Music:Quietness~
I bound my chest, put on a baggy T-shirt, and borrowed my brother's pantsand deodorant. I effectively erased my gender for the evening. I don't really identify as a guy, but sometimes I don't really feel like I want to identify as either gender (not permanently, but for a little while.). I guess I went without a gender more than I went "as a guy."
It was a kind of incredible feeling, to be able to toss aside my gender for the night. I'd really like to do it more, in the future. There's something kind of amazing about having the freedom to decide whether I have a gender or not at any given time.
- Location:My Room
- Mood: Empowered
- Music:Pink
I'm brilliant! And dead. I managed to figure out roughly what classes I'm taking when over the next three years, so that I can finish college in the typical 4 years, instead of taking 5 because of my transfer. Unfortunately, said transfer bumped me back a bit, and I have a really rigid major plus an extra 18-credit concentration on top of it. So I'm averaging 18 credit hours a semester, plus a lot of summer courses.
In short... I'm brilliantly dead!
I didn't want to spam Neopound with this, so I'll spam Livejournal, instead. This is basically a tenative map of my next three years...
Sophomore Year
Fall- (18 credits)
-Math for Liberal Arts Students
-Biology
-Elementary Psychology
-Social Problems
-Art Appreciation
-Western Literature Masterpieces (Pre-Renaissance)
Spring- (16 credits)
-Invitation to Teaching
-Using Computers in Education (+Feild Experience)
-Schools, Society, and Exceptionality
-Intermediate Expository Writing
-Speech
-American History since 1850
-General Geology
Summer Session II- (7 credits)
-Bioanthropology
-Elementary Spanish I
Summer Session II- (7 credits)
-Intro to the Study of Language
-Elemantary Spanish II
Junior Year
Fall- (18 credits)
-Teaching Methods for Students w/ Special Needs
-General Educational Psychology (+Field Experience)
-Structure of Modern English
-Mass Communication
-Economics
-Composing the Self
Spring- (15 credits)
-Education and American Culture
-Psychology for Secondary teachers (+Field Experience)
-Humanities (Post-1500)
-Language in Society
-20th Century British Poetry
Summer Session I- (3 credits)
-2nd Year Spanish I
Summer Session II- (6 credits)
-Government
-2nd Year Spanish II
Senior Year
Fall- (18 credits)
-The Middle and Jr. High School (+Field Experience)
-Critical Reading in the Content Area
-Methods and materials for Teaching ESL I
-American Literature 1865-1914
-Student Teaching
Spring- (18 credits)
-Methods and Materials for Teaching ESL II
-Second Language Accquisition
-Young Adult Literature
-Student Teaching
-ESL Student Teaching
-Education Portfolio
Hello death! 8D
(Did I mention i'd also really like to have a job, somewhere in there, so i can have pocket money and also save money so I can high tail it to Washington as soon as I graduate? Yeah.)
- Location:My Room
- Mood: excited
- Music:Pandora-shuffle
Today is the 4th of July.
We're making ungodly loud, sudden noises to celebrate a bunch of Europeans laying dibs on land that shouldn't have ever been claimed by anyone in the first place.
We're celebrating all this during one of the hottest, muggiest, most uncomfortable months of the year.
Meanwhile, I can't send my mail or go to the library or finish registering for classes, because everyone else is busy celebrating this stupid excuse for a holiday.
So I'll sit here working on all the art I owe while I wait for monday, I guess.
And hope that on monday, my blasted college processes my AP Test scores so I can actually sign up for an English class before ALL the ones I'm interested in fill up! Ajdjhfj. I did sign up for the rest of my classes, though:
-Math for the Liberal Arts Student (Tue/Thur 4:30-5:45pm)
-Biology (Sat 9:00-11:50am)
-Elementary Psychology- Honors (Mon/Wed/Fri 11:00-11:50am)
-Social Problems (Tue 6:00-8:45pm)
-Art Appreciation (Fri 4:30-7:20pm)
And hopefully (if it doesn't fill before the school lets me sign up):
-Western Literature Masterpieces- Pre-Renaissance (Mon/Wed 4:30-4:45pm)
18 credit hours worth of nonstop death, there! Ahuuur, I'm taking 18 credit hours almost entirely in evening and weekend classes, I just realized. I've gotta be about the only traditional aged college student who would actually intentionally do that-- I was aiming for the smallest class sizes, and seem to have succeeded. Out of those 6 classes, i think only two have more than 20 people in them.
I'm super-excited for my Social Problems class. I'm a bit of a sociology nut. (Why can't a just take more sociology classes instead of econ and givernment for my social studies concentration? Middle schoolers don't need me to teach them econ and government, right? x3) It's especially delightful since it's a once-a-week class, which are totally the best kind (notice taht 3 out of 6 of my classes are once-a-week). I'm also excited about my literature class, assuming I actually get into it (I already missed out on the expository composition class I really wanted to take, in which I get to write a giant research paper over whatever I want-- I'll have to wait for spring to take that I guess); if not, I'll probably take some kind of communications course, instead.
Art Appreciation is going to be braindead easy. Seriously, braindead easy. I'm required to take it, even though I spent a year as an art major, so I figure I'll get it out of the way right off the bat and give myself an extra 3 credit hours my first semester. x3 Math will also be easy, I think, since I haven't had time to forget what I learned in last year's math classes, yet. (I just keep getting stuck with math classes, don't it? Oh well, they're mindless busywork, which isn't bad.)
I got into an honors Psychology class, which means maybe it'll be a little more interesting than a run-of-the-mill into to psych class? I'm hoping. Aaaand... Biology is going to be the death of me, but at least I managed to snag a weekend Biology class, so I don't have a 100-person lecture hall on top of the fact that science classes don't mix with me.
Anywho, I guess I should get back to working on art I owe, because I have a ton of it.
- Location:My Room
- Mood: PMS-y
- Music:Tracy Chapman
Camping was amazing. <3
I hurt so much I can barely move, and I'm so exhausted I can barely think, but good gravy that was amazing.
New friend new friend new friend! I have a new buddy~ He's Froggy's age, and his name's Coven. He has the same favorite color as me, walks about as slow as me, and is obsessed with zombie appocalypses. Froggy and I have decided we need to invite him over sometime soon. It needs to happen.
There was so much of... everything, on that camping trip. There's no way I can really explain it and do it justice without just writing out every little thing, which would be looooong.
I kind of feel like my ideantity is shifting, again. I'm realizing new things about myself, again, and that's always hard for me, because I'm too stubborn to admit that I'm changing or I was wrong about myself. (I don't strike most people as stubborn, but in my own way, I really, really am.) At the same time, though, it's so exciting to learn new things about myself and to grow and to change. Identity is such a fluid thing, I'm discovering. That's a hard thing for me to admit, but it is and it's wonderful in a lot of ways (and painful in a lot of ways, too).
Age and gender are really tricky things. I think that's the big thing that's confusing me right now. Age and gender. I know I'm female and 18 years old and a sophomore in college, but I feel like there's more to it than that, I just can't figure out what that more is, I guess? But a lot of that is either too confusing or sort of personal, still, so I don't know how to explain it right here and right now. Just that it's confusing and stressful, but not necessarily bad.
...now that I'm home after being around so many people all weekend, I'm a little lonely.
And also exhausted. Soon, I need to get to work on art I've been planning on doing, but right now my arms hurt too much and my brain is mush. I also need to get a bus pass, so I can get to the library, post office, Hobby Lobby... and the bank, though I think I need my mom for that, because i don't know how to set up an account. That way, i can finish/mail out commissions and such, an exchange my old library books for some new ones (because once I finish A Northern Light, which I'm halfway through, now, I suspect I'll return to having Alice Walker withdrawals).
- Location:Back Home
- Mood:
exhausted - Music:Tracy Chapman
Okay, first and foremost: I FINISHED ALL THE ART I OWE!
...well, minus the art that I don't have the supplies and such to finish, yet, but I'm not too worried about that.
So now I've decided to do a couple art trades to try and get some magpie/rainbow/violet art to decorate my room with. 83
Anywho, that aside...
I'm leaving tomorrow to spend the weekend tae-kwon-do-camping! 83 Yaaaay~ So I won't be around all weekend, but when I get back, hopefully I shall be feeling refreshed and ready to actually function again. |D Which means maybe I'll get back to actually making progress on my own art cards? (Speaking of which, I finished Xela's and Karl's, today. Making progress!)
Anywho, I think I'm going to go collapse, again? I has a good book and I want to read more. <3
- Location:My (new) Room
- Mood: creative
- Music:Pandora-shuffle
I AM HERE.
I am HOME. <3
I could ramble for eternities about all the amazing things that have happened since i got here, but I'll... try and keep it moderately short? But seriously: This place is fantastic beyond WORDS.
First off, everything is within walking distance. EVERYTHING. Or at least, pretty darned near everything. And what isn't walking distance is either a bus ride or (ifmom's available) a very short drive away. Needless to say, I have been walking my little feet off ince we got here. I love walking! Walking walking walking. My feet feel like they might snap in half, but I can't help it-- I need to WALK! Omigosh. It's the best thing ever. I feel like I can go anywhere, anytime and get exercise while I'm at it.
The weather is ungodly hot, I'm covered in sunburn even though I've been using sunscreen, and my muscles feel like they've been hit with a hammer, but OMIGOSH. This place is amazing.
Tomorrow I'm hoping I can test the bus route out and see if I can get myself to Hobby Lobby and the library. And maybe I'll have breakfast at the Firefly again. (And by eat breakfast, I mean go there in the morning and buy a scone so I don't feel totally cheap just lurking there without buying anything, because Scones are yummy and one of the few things I can actually afford, there.)
The Firefly is a little coffee shop about 20 minutes' walk from my apartment. It serves, so far as I can tell, the entire oddball population of Ft. Wayne. It's... exactly what I needed. I figure if I lurk there enough, I'll make my presence apparent and find the rest of my fellow oddballs. So the plan is to go there as often as possible from now on.
...I kind of planned to type more. But I'm feeling the need to go lay down right now and read some more, so I think I'll go do that.
(more updates, probably, once I finish decorating my room and whatnot.)
- Location:HOME
- Mood: HOME
- Music:"America" by Tracy Chapman
TOMORROW! Tomorrow is moving day!
That means I'll probably not be around much this weekend. The new house doesn't have internet until Monday (but we're getting Fios!), and I'll be busy moving stuff most of tomorrow and then I'll be staying there starting tomorrow night~ So not a lot of internet after tonight. but that's okay. I think maybe I need a bit of a breather from the internet, anyways (I need those from time to time), so I'll spend that couple days accquainting myself with the new place, setting up my room, and getting some much-overdue excercise! By the time the internet comes on monday, I should be nicely rejuvenated. 83
The last couple days have been packing packing and more packing, which some cram-speed art in between. (I've been making a nice dent in my load of art I owe! What a relief.) I had a bit of an issue involving breakable things and the packing thereof. I have this neurosis involving anything fragile or inpermanent, and it surfaced in a big way this week. I guess because all my realities are being scrambled around all at once (I'm moving, my dad is moving, tree is leaving for camp-- all within one weekend), and everything is feeling really inpermanent and stressful. I didn't quite realize how stressed out I was until yesterday I had an incident involving my brother and dry erase markers, and I kind of melted down and ended up scratching and bitting myself until I had huge bruises on my wrist and leg that made it hard for me to type or walk for a while. I scare myself when I lose control like that. It's not really a concious thing, even. it's not like I'm trying to hurt myself. (Tree reminded me last night that at my new house/college, I can probably actually utelize the college's free counseling services. That hadn't occured to me before. I need to look into that. That might be really a good thing.)
But this morning I managed to pack all my fragile things, and I'm feeling a lot better, now. I'm pretty darned excited about this new apartment! So many things to do and places to go, and hopefully people to be with! Once I have internet again, I'll update with my adventures. 83
Also-- weekend after moving is the tae kwon do camping trip, and sometime next month I'm going to stay at Emily's house for most of a week. So much to look forward to!
- Location:My (not for long) Room
- Mood: Anticipant
- Music:"America" by Tracy Chapman
Today was nice~ I finished more packing in the morning, and then my dad picked me up to go out to eat and go to Hobby Lobby.
We spent like... and hour or two at Hobby Lobby. I bought like $40 worth of jewelry-making supplies! Most of it was for commissions, since much to my surprise, three people commissioned me for jewelry this week after I started posting jewelry doodles!
Much to my delight, all the findings and some of the charms were on sale for 50% off! So I stocked up on jewelry-findings (the little bits and pieces that hold it together... crimp beads and hooks and clamps and whatnot) while i was at it. And then I got all the beads and charms and such I needed for commissions. So exciting! And I really like some of the beads I ended up getting for commission-jewelry. I'm especially fond of these gorgeous little beads that are translucent light blue on the outside and pink on the inside. So they look kind of purplish at first glance. I love them! (Meanwhile, my dad took advantage of the sale to get birthday presents for his girlfriend. x3 I'm entertained that me and my dad went jewelry-shopping together. |D)
Oh, and I met the CUTEST little girl while we were at Hobby Lobby. She saw the beads and yelled "Candy!" So I giggled and went over to her and explained that they're not candy, they're beads, and they're not very yummy, but you can make pretty things like necklaces with them! She got REALLY excited (she was probably about 2 years old) and yelled "Beads!" and started grabbing at different beads and showing them to me and being altogether adorable. I talked to her about beads until her mom and grandma were ready to go. |3
After we finished at Hobby Lobby, me and my dad went to eat at Culver's (a burger and ice cream place). I got a bacon cheeseburger (with really good onions on it) and mashed potatoes (also really good), and has root beer to drink and a Twix sunday for desert. All of this usually would be fairly unexciting, but you see... I was really hungry! 8D; See... Mom doesn't want to do any grocery shopping until we finish moving, because she doesn't want to have to move food. Yesterday I ate three packets of oatmeal and a cup of sorbert. That's all. Yeah. HUNGRY. So dinner today was really exciting, and I felt so nice and full afterwards~
Then I came home and worked on jewelry. I made bracelets for Tree and Meep, a necklace for Lynx, and earrings for Roxxi. Productivity! I plan to take pictures and upload them to DA, soon. But not tonight, because it's late, and photography is an involved process. But I LOVE how everything turned out! I've decided that I enjoy making jewelry. 83 (Especially since i now have crimp beads and jewelry-string that are the right size for eachother!)
Tomorrow will be more packing. And hopefully I'll finish some art trades, too.
I'm making progress! My to-do list looks a lot less intimidating, now.
- Location:My Room
- Mood:
okay - Music:Pandora
I made a to-do list this morning. I definitely needed that. What a relief to have all my crazy projects listed out in one place, finally! On the flip-side, though, it's kind of an intimidating list.
As in, I had NO IDEA just how much I'd overbooked myself before I actually listed everything out! XD I mean we're talking verging-on-crisis overbooked, here.
If you see me trying to commit to one more thing before I finish moving and get some of my current to-do list done, please throw heavy objects at me!
So I'm going to enter time-management crisis-mode to pull myself out of this overbooked mess without losing any sanity in the process. x3
Here are the things I've booked myself for:
-Art trades (lots)
-Various Art contests/exchanges/events
-Two different 3- or 4-way chain collabs via mail
-A few jewelry commissions
-Art Cards
-Typing Ash's story
-A few smaller, low-priority personal projects
And here's what I'm going to do about all that!
Art Trades and Commissions:
These are fairly low-stress and high-priority, so I'll try and get as many as possible (hopefully all of them) done over the next week in between preparations for moving.
Art Exchanges and Contests:
These are more elaborate and usually have a deadline. A lot of them I haven't yet recieved my assignment for who to draw, but I will have my assignments for all of them by the time I've moved next weekend. SO As soon as i get done moving, these will become top priority. Until then, I may work on the ones I can start on already, but they're not high priority.
Chain-Collabs:
These will be easy. I just have to do my parts as they come to me in the mail. No stress here.
Art Cards:
Hiatus until I finish moving! I have all summer to do these, and I'm already like 4/5 of the way through them, so I thionk I can afford to take a week or tw off and let my life settle back down before I dive back into them. I think the results will be a lot better once I'm not up to my neck in stress, anyways.
Ash's Story:
I'll go back to typing this, like the art cards, after I've had a chance to finish some more urgent stuff and cool down a bit. It'll be easy then, but right now typing it sounds about as enjoyable as having teeth pulled.
I can do this!
Organization is my lifeline. Good gracious.
I foresee the next week or so being altogether fairly unproductive art-wise. See: I'm moving this week. Not only am I stressed beyond belief and rather busy doing oddjobs and packing and multitasking, but my room is going to be being pulled out from underneath me and shoved in boxes! That includes my desk. And my computer (so I'll likely be stuck with a laptop for a day or two at the height of moving). And virtually everything else I own.
Speaking of which: We have the moving truck friday and saturday (the 19th and 20th). So I'll probably be crazy-busy next weekend, but after that I should be mostly moved into the new house? And such.
SO MUCH GOING ON.
My head is hurting just thinking about all this.
- Location:My Room
- Mood: Overwhelmed!
- Music:Tracy Chapman
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